George Peckham -
Then it was competition time after all of the booze “Who’s got the biggest toe” laughed Peter. That was it - shoes off, stinky feet everywhere, all sprawled over Peter’s bed with the comments: “Does the smallest have to sleep with you tonight?” Everyone was just so drunk and laughing, then, of course, it started to get raucous. Tony Newman said, “Who can dump the biggest turd over the balcony!”
Well when you consider that we are on the twelfth floor, a bottom hanging over the balcony trying to do its business is a touch on the dangerous side, to put it mildly. But old Peter Brown didn’t mind a bit to see all of these bare bottoms all over the place climbing onto the balcony and heaving and straining to become the winner. An afterthought is - how in hells name is someone going to measure the winning one?
Then Tony decided that one of the chairs in the room should be thrown over the balcony which he did and would you believe it, the chair only landed the right way up. We watched over the balcony as a pair of policemen walked over to it scratching their heads as to how it must have got there. Luckily they didn’t look up to see all our faces just grinning over the balcony at them, so they picked up the chair and placed it on the pavement and made a quick departing dash.
I remember Peter Brown saying “Get me room service” on the phone. “We need more champagne.” So I picked up the phone and low and behold guess which voice came on the phone: Mr. Newman “What do you want?” I said “Is that you, Tony?” “Yeah,” came the reply. “Right,” said I, “I’m on my way down.” When I got to reception Tony was pulling out telephone leads and re-plugging them willy-nilly at random into any socket which was available and ringing the rooms. While doing this he was fending off his space with a chair against the staff who were trying to regain the switchboard from him. It was such chaos but so funny, it looked like one of those black and white silent movies but with added noise to add to the flavour.
Later on we all decided to go to the Casino as it was next to the Hotel. Tony came in with us, the Fourmost, and said that he would meet up with us later. We had a little gamble with Brian as he said that he had a system to win some money on roulette and I must admit he did win quite a bit of money. We had clubbed our four lots of money together and it was starting to look like a very decent amount on the table. That was when I said - could I have my 25% out of the kitty as I was going to find Tony. Brian didn’t like it but gave me my share anyway.
Off I was walking around looking for Tony and I eventually did. He was chatting to some very posh woman trying to teach her his song ‘The Dogshit Blues.’ I don’t think she could understand him with his London east-end accent and she could only speak French, it was very comical anyway.
Tony’s words: “Shall we drop our trousers and flash our arses and then disappear into the crowd?” My reply was obvious, “Yes.” So we spent the next half hour doing this and hiding in the crowds of gamblers at the tables. We were being chased by the bouncers who were shining their torches around the leg area trying to find us, just like little kids. We thought that this was hilarious, so when we had had our fun we went back to see how Brian was doing. Apparently at one point he had a massive stack of chips on the table but as luck will have its way the pile had dwindled to a more moderate stack now. Eventually we left to get some shut-eye.
I remember when we worked at the Saville Theatre, the messing about between Tony and I just never seemed to stop. We had to go through different spaces in time musically, the first stage being the Twenties and we all had to dress up in straw boater hats white trousers and striped coats as to fit in with period.
We had to enter stage left swinging our right arm from the tummy area outward towards the audience in the rhythm of the song - BUT, Tony was behind me and I knew that he wouldn’t let me go on without something happening and, of course, it did. He firmly got hold of the tail of my jacket and ripped it from tail to collar. Needless to say when we entered from stage right I’m clinging to the half jacket hanging off my shoulder which is now flapping around in the breeze the audience can see something is going on because of the state of my undress.